“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
I’m sure if you have been dealt with the cards of grief you’ve probably heard this phrase many times before. This is typically the beginning of the grief process. I want this to serve as a reminder and give you hope as you go through this somber time. You may not understand, but God knows and is with you. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.”-Proverbs 3:5-6
I hope you know that you are not alone in this. God is walking right beside you giving you reassurance and peace. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” -Psalm 34:18. He sees your tears. Those moments of sadness, those moments of deep pain—He is there with you. When you have reached your end and the grief takes over—He is still there. Cry out to Him. Give Him your pain during those grief-stricken moments. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.
The encounter with grief
It is hard. When your loved one is no longer around, it is extremely hard living without their presence. Sometimes it feels unfair. It feels like an empty hole that will never be filled again. It’s hard. Having to get used to living life without them feels unbearable. Some days feel like a blur. Some days feel like everything is in slow motion. Some days feel like you are on repeat mode just going through the motions of it all. The light in your heart grows dimmer and dimmer. The most important thing during these encounters with grief is that you give yourself permission to feel everything that you are feeling. Let yourself have those moments when you meet grief—grieve. There will be moments when something reminds you of your loved one and you may feel guilt, sadness or disappointment. Whatever you are feeling it is valid. God is there. He is not moved by your emotions— He is accepting everything that you are feeling. He is there through it all. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” -Matthew 5:4
Where there is life, there is hope.
As you are navigating your way through grief, hold to those moments of happiness. It may be a while before you can find the light, but just know God is light and the light is always with you. We have hope because that person you are grieving has accepted Christ. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.“
Your loved one is healed. Whatever they may have been going though is no longer. Your loved one is at peace. Whatever may have been troubling their heart is no longer. Your loved one is with our Heavenly Father and all of their burdens and pains are no longer. Your loved one is happy and whatever may have caused them sadness has ceased to be. “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” -Revelation 21:4. We hold to hope for that day we will see our loved ones.
Your loved one will send you the most beautiful reminders that they are whole and well. “So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.” – 2 Corinthians 5:6. They will send you gentle reminders that they are ok. They are with the Lord. “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing.” -2 Timothy 4:7-8.
They are now looking over you. They are with you. Their spirit is around you. They are quietly rooting you along from heaven. They are aware of you and the things concerning you. Those pieces of them will surround you when you desperately need them. Their presence is still with you. God is still with you. “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
God remains with you.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.” -Psalm 23
Take heart and comfort in knowing that God does not change in what we are going through. He remains good. Through it all: the anger, the pain—He is still Sovereign. He has you in the palms of His Hands. He will give you peace in this grieving process. “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:7
Lean on God. Speak to Him in those moments of uncertainty. He has His Hand over you life. Nothing catches Him by surprise. He knew in this very moment in time what your grief would look like. Everything has a time and a season. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” -Ecclesiastes 3:1. In your time of sorrow and sadness, place your grief in Him. God will guide you through your time of grief. In time, you will rejoice. With time, your mourning will turn to joy. Time will become your safe haven.
“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” – Psalm 30:5